A FEW ANSWERS FOR THE NEWBIES

I suddenly realized that I have not answered a few basic questions that have been voiced in "Comments:" Namely:

• Poop Scoop: A small shovel that is taken out into the wildnerness so that one can dig a hole. A hole that one squats over. A hole in which one endeavors to make a solid bowel movement. This is known as a "Crap Shoot." (HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH. I laugh because the chances that you will have a solid movement and/or get it in the poop-scooped hole result in sub-Reno/Vegas casino odds.) So, the Indian urchins stole our poop scoop, but I doubt they are using it for the same reasons because they pretty much just drop trow and do it where-ever.
• Mustard Bum (LAYMAN'S TERMS): Yeah, it's pretty much as bad it might imply. And you hope (without real hope) that it is not combined with the poop scoop. (See above.) If anyone really needs to know more, then see below. DO NOT SEE BELOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE REAL DEAL-HE-OH.
• Mustard Bum (PROFESSIONAL TERMS): Yeah, it's pretty much as bad it it might imply. It's like when you have to pee. Uncontrollably. But it's poop out your ass. Uncontrollably. And it's yellow. Like mustard. Dijon mustard, maybe. You can't fart, because "mustard bum" farts often result in "mustard bum in your pants" farts. There, aren't you glad I told you:-)