OLDER, BUT NO WISER . . .

I feel like I am moving up the evolutionary ladder in terms of urban sophistication and jacked-up prices as my trip winds down . . . from India (Orissa/Lachung Valley!) to Kathmandu to Bangkok to Hong Kong is like an old Disneyland ride through the ages of modernization. Look closely, children, and you will personally experience man's discovery of:

• Electricity!
• Hot, running water!
• Fast internet connections!
• Paved roads and expressways!
• Paved roads and expressways that feature only cars/buses vs. cars/buses/cows/dogs/tuk tuks/rickshaws/oxcarts/bicycles/ women with baskets of rocks on their heads/legless beggars!
• Old, fat, balding white guys trolling for underage, lithe, beautiful Thai girls!
• Old, fat, balding white guys trolling for underage, lithe, beautiful Chinese girls!
• Etc.

I actually loved Bangkok and would like to go back with someone. (It was too weird to go to a bar by myself there.) I crammed in a ton of sightseeing and temple/palace viewing and longboat riding through the canals (AWESOME!) and rice barge cruising on the river and Thai massaging of my limbs/torso. It pains me to admit, however, that I was a Dringo (or Gringoman, whichever you prefer) . . . Gringo traveler on the outside, Drago traveler on the inside. Why was this? Well, I actually took a group tour. In a large van. With air conditioning. And a guy that put down a stool for me to step out on. Accompanied by people who were clean and pressed and color-coordinated. God help me, I even enjoyed it. NOOOooo . . .

Celebrated my (gulp) 43rd birthday last night, alone in Hong Kong and knocking back stiff margaritas in a Mexican cantina. It wasn't as depressing as it might sound, but I AM feeling every bit of those years and then some.

The unforgiving overhead lighting in the fancy hotels has definitely knocked the rose-colored overlanding glasses off my head and unveiled the sad truths. Namely, I am in desperate need of : a) A haircut, b) Serious facial extractions, c) Pants that are constructed from a fabric that is not "hi tech" and thus not rip/stain/wrinkle/odor/style-free, d) Skirts that have zippers and buttons vs. pull-on elastic waistbands, e) Shoes that are meant for neither hiking nor showering/hardcore outdoor pursuits, and f) Shirts that don't have bleach or paint stains/rips/loose threads/unraveling hems or logos. Yeesh.

Will not be seeing Annie while I'm here, unfortunately, as she is flying to see the terra cotta warriors. I'm off to ride the tram up to the Peak and then explore Hong Kong Park . . .